Tinsae is with us. We picked her up about 10am. She cried for a couple of minutes when Michelle took her from the caregiver. But shortly after the caregiver left, Tinsae settled down. She was and continues to be very quiet and sad. You can see the hurt on her face that also appears to be buried deep inside of her. We were quite prepared for this and we know that it will take months and maybe years of consistent love to help her in her grief. We spent time there talking to the director of the orphanage and learned everything we could about Tinsae’s short past. We hope to be able to go to the hospital where her mother died and talk to the doctor that treated her mother before she died. We are hoping that someone at the hospital will be able to help us learn more about her mother so that someday we can share it with Tinsae. We wonder what God will help us discover there…if anything at all.
We also spent some time talking with Tinsae’s main caregiver, Sister Veronica. She said that Tinsae does not know who she can trust. Everyone that she has trusted and loved has been taken away from her… and today will be no exception as we will have to take Tinsae from the woman who has loved her most since her mother died. Sister Veronica also observed that Tinsae is afraid that she’s going to be hurt again and that she quickly withdraws around strangers. The Sister wasn't trying to be mean or anything, she just wanted to make sure we knew of Tinsae's trauma. Sister Veronica also remarked that it is not too often that Tinsae has even shared a smile with her…but we rejoice that she has. And we know someday she will smile with us. But most importantly…someday she will also know true Joy as we share with her the love of her heavenly Father. Also, I hold on to the vision that God gave me over a year ago of me holding up an unknown black child filled with laughter and how he told me that she would be my daughter (but that's another story).
I didn’t know it at the time but God helped prepare us for today in our quiet time with Him this morning. I read to Michelle at breakfast the following ‘random’ passage:
Psalm 126: 1-6
When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
We also read from Psalm 135 and 136. What incredible passages of praise and thanksgiving! Google them to see. God has a history with us! It is a history of faithfulness, a history of delivering us, and a history of carrying us during our pain. But just like His pain that He endured for us on the cross, our pain is not without purpose. Sometimes God reveals the purpose behind the pain but there are other times that some of the treasures of darkness will not be revealed on this side of eternity. I need to just wait and trust Him. Whatever situation God has you in right now, please join me to just wait and trust Him. Little Tinsae, my child…just wait and trust Him.
Later in our visit at the orphanage we visited the room where Tinsae spent with her caregiver. Michelle and I were alone with Sister Veronica and we got a chance to talk more with her. Sister Veronica began to probe a ‘little’ into our lives. She began asking questions about our relationship. Bottom line: She wanted to know that Tinsae would not be hurt again by Michelle and me and that Tinsae wouldn't lose us in divorce. Sister Veronica wanted to know that our marriage relationship was secure. We gave her the only guarantee we knew. We shared with her our faith in Christ as our source of joy and meaning in life and that our relationship with each other was a reflection of our relationship with Him. Our source of unity and strength in marriage rested in Christ. She became extremely excited and happy by this. She shared with us how she had prayed from the very first day she received Tinsae that God would send parents to love her that also loved Him.
I marveled at the Sister Veronica’s love for Tinsae that she would ask such direct questions. It was then we realized how much the caregiver ‘really’ loved Tinsae. Now it was our turn to rejoice. We shared with her that now God allowed us to see the answer to one of our very first prayers in our adoption journey through her. We prayed that God would send someone to love and care for our unknown daughter in Ethiopia. But God did more than we asked for… He sent someone to our daughter who also loved Him!
God loves us more than we can ever begin to imagine.
We had a little of a scare this afternoon after leaving the orphanage. Tinsae became fairly lethargic and warm. Michelle took her temperature and it was about 103F. The orphanage had a nurse who examined her and said Tinsae had a swollen throat. She gave her some medicine and also wrote a prescription for amoxicillin. Tinsae responded extremely quickly. It’s after 2am here and Michelle and Tinsae are still sleeping soundly.
Now for details…Michelle is going to have to fill in the gaps for the things I overlook. Tinsae is very alert and watches everything. She is a little bigger than Michelle thought but still very undersized for her documented age (don’t even ask me about clothing sizes… Michelle knows how to communicate in that language). She can’t be 2 yrs old. Michelle guesses that based on her observations so far… maybe 13-16 months old. She is very thin. She doesn’t talk. She’s a good eater.
Also, I’m not saying this because I’m a proud father because I never thought any of my other children were cute until much later…. But Tinsae is strikingly beautiful. Her eyelashes are unbelievably long and curly. (Sorry Jon, Jake, Katie, and Nathan…. You guys looked like a cross between ET, Yoda, and Gollum when I first saw you. It took some time for you guys to cuten up!)
Pictures coming soon.
Love
Bill & Michelle
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